tragic

it never dawned on me that i might need to actually think about where exactly i want to be in thirty years from now....

what got me thinking this time was a friend of my mums.
she has spent the twenty five odd years of her life from getting out of uni to now working her way up to the big money, very almost putting her life on hold to work.
well now, shes stopped working at forty six, and because she has spent so much time working that she can now afford to live life in luxury.
she has so much time, that she went to a uni book shop and bought several uni textbooks on psychology and has been studying it for a hobby.
shes gone on spontaneous holidays to fall in love,
she has acquired three or four new wardrobes,
she has redecorated her house with painting and sculptures, and big crystals
and countless books on art and theater, politics and economics.
if she has nothing to do one night, she will go to see whatever opera is on in covent garden.
this life of hers is heart achingly perfect.
but she had to give up almost a quarter of her life to get there.
what i have only just understood is that she had planned her life from the start of uni.
she had decided life would wait, she would gain the money in order to live lavishly.
at first i thought, well thats so stupid, why the hell give up life to live later on.
but it was a tactic none the less, and she stuck to it. and look at her now.

i know im too young to plan my entire life yet, but i cant help but think, weather i should think of some kind of tactic for my life,
because, and this is the thing that scares me... its one chance, for one big tactic like this one.

boom

do it.

watch the boat that rocked.
it's pretty much everything about this film that makes it amazing,
the thing for me is, apart from the music, the lifestyle it shows.

it has got to be the best way of living ever, well for me anyway.
i long to lounge around day after day, with nothing to do but talk and listen to music, and eat and drink.

to have such a level of no pressure that the outside world is something of a tragic myth that you needn't face. just live in your own little bubble, doing the things that interest you and nothing else.
which is why i dream of life on a boat,
or maybe i could make my own little island out of pebbles like on the advert...

in your face.

i dont need you guys to care,
because the universe cares.
HAHA.

seriously though, karma is doing some major piss up at the moment. and im not impressed. i know that means absolutely nothing to anyone else. and its not like im the victim, its the innocent civilians, doing nothing wrong...
but falling for someone
or ice skating with her friends
or trying to move up in the world.

groovy.

i think i fond another acting hero.
this time i was just amazed by the complete difference between the roles i've seen him in...
not once could i see through his acting. its so weird.
and that's what makes him so good in my eyes,
he manages to pull his roles off so well.
see for yourself:



^ Notting Hill, as Spike



^ The Boat That Rocked, as Gavin

ladies and gentleman, i give you, Rhys Ifans

like the dead

rising from their rotting graves.

its not like that.

the intellectuals

forget the sports people, the rich big shots.

it is the intellectuals that are taking over the world.

their mass appreciation and talent in the arts.

of course, these types are becoming rare,

and by most others are seen as snooty posers.

i want to live in paris, where you are pretty much forced into all the culture.

i would go to the galleries as much as i could afford, become a regular.

i find the old type of cameras, and make inspiring short films.

i would be content in my own little world.

in my small but tasteful apartment over looking the rest of the city.

i would spend the rest of my time in the parks,

wandering around, writing, drawing anything that would fill the time.

and then i would eat pastries and drink coffee in the classic little cafes.