listlessness

if my thoughts could be projected onto a screen it would be continuous lists; lists of what homework i need to do, lists of things i need to pay for, lists of jobs i could apply for, lists of jobs that turned me down, lists of things i want to tell people, lists of people i cant trust, lists of the food i've eaten, lists of music that needs to go onto my ipod. i could go on, but there's no point, this post is just becoming another list. and i think i have enough of them going right now for someone slightly obsession compulsive, my head is a fucking mess... i can't find my devil's spoke

running away

the one thing

school outfit...

people think it's shit that we have to dress 'smartly', i like it.

http://www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=12556&catalogId=33057&productId=2234491&categoryId=209724&parent_category_rn=208524

http://www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=12556&catalogId=33057&productId=1889104&categoryId=209759&parent_category_rn=208528

http://www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=33057&storeId=12556&productId=2094732&langId=-1&sort_field=Relevance&categoryId=208543&parent_categoryId=208492&sort_field=Relevance&pageSize=200&refinements=category~[209966208543]&noOfRefinements=1

http://www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=33057&storeId=12556&productId=2291757&langId=-1&sort_field=Relevance&categoryId=208532&parent_categoryId=203984&sort_field=Relevance&pageSize=20&refinements=category~[209784208532]&noOfRefinements=1

fuck psychodynamic

social psychology seems the most insightful.
its a shame how much of it is completely accurate

i miss my brogues being this shiny...

"score a fucking try you silly bastards"

im genuinely scared of mr desmond when he watches the rugby...

psychodynamic approach

Freud insulted people, or at least that's the impression they give. Of course you are going to be slightly insulted by the man who claims you had sexual feeling towards your mother, hating your father for standing in the way of your relationship, turning into the fear that a confrontation will leave you castrated.
but more then anything i think people feared Freud. Feared the possibility that there is way more to our minds then we can ever control or understand.
I know that's the reason i can't stand my psychology lessons at the moment. what if this man is right? what if dreams were repressed desires and thoughts? what if I'm exhibiting classic denial and there's no way i can stop it? what if my anal retentive characters will stick with me forever?

maybe gaining insight to the mind isn't such a good thing.
i can't help but analyse everything i do now. its like a conditioned paranoia

white noise

cryptophobia

it kills me