speed

when you're stuck in on a sunday afternoon, trying to muster enough motivation to get some work done that could have been done multiple occasions throughout the holiday, it would not seem as though time is passing with any haste at all. rather, longing out every second in an excruciating slowness that makes me want to manually wind my clock forwards.
however, give it five seconds of thinking over the last month and you quickly realise how time is speeding around on it's constant loop, going so fast the thought makes me simultaneously panicked and dizzy.
the occurrences of this month make me so happy that i write this with a sickening idiot grin on my face, but the idea that change seems to escalate at the moment, i actually get scared.
and then once over the 'reminiscing' i get so pissed off with myself. my need to think things over so bloody much is completely uncontrollable, im as close to going with the flow as i am with accepting the constant wariness i live in.
yeah time moves quickly atm, fucking suck it up emma. what are you even complaining about?!