the rear end of the noughties.

although a cringed look comes onto my face as i think that we are going into the tennies or the teenies. i think the teenies still belong on cbbcs and out of our history books. im ready for 2010 but this year has been this mass experience, im not going into it because thats long and some memories i have decided to just let go, or do my best to dismiss. yeah sometimes its been a bitch to be me. and yeah im coming out of 2009 a lot more damaged then i went into it. but a good kind of damaged. one that i can now use to my advantage and save myself at least a bit of embarrassment and hurt.
but from the time that big bennies hand points to twelve, im in 2010 and ready to make it immensly crazy.

hope my life changes

little lepricon

so much love for this man.

even the guys have love for gerard butler.

those thesbian types.

i love acting. like nothing else. that rush, adrenaline.

dancing in state competitions?
singing so amazingly you get the lead in a show?
drawing guys with rockets coming out their ass?


me? its acting. i look around, i see so much talent. talent i dont have. i think; i will never be as good as that.

but. acting, i dont give a shit. if im good or bad. no matter.
because when i step out onto that stage. lights, audience, those butterflies playing havoc in mystomach. they fall still. silent.

musings.

its not because i lovelovelove the drummer. its not because this song grows on me more and more everyday.

if you watch it then you'll see how immensely into it they get. its so cool watching them, in a video, live whatever, they always have this incredible energy. and people wonder why concert tickets are so bloody expensive, but i really sooo want to see them live. they look amazing in concert.

so if you have a few hundred pounds to spare how abouts you and me go and get blown away by them?

25 seconds in, i love his head bobbing thingy he has got going on♥

mother nature is a fine looking lady.

im no pohotographer, my talents go into making as akward a situation as possible and singing word perfect to muse when i think no one is listening, but when i was walking around in the woods of some palace in madrid, this was so beautiful i just stopped and stood and stared. i wanted to take as many photos as my camera could holdfrom every possible angle and sit there for the day and the day after, but the sun went away and the wood returned to its sinister darkness. i have never been stopped so suddenly by anything since.

happy thoughts

think happy thoughts, deep breath and lets get through this week.

finally, some answers?!?!

no, you will never be able to make trackies, uggs and a hoodie fashionable (even you alexa)
yes, you will get your heart broken into teeeeny tinnny pieces at LEAST once, and i mean really teeeny pieces
no, life is not just about bolloking exams and coursework
yes, you will someday find yourself completely blissfulllyl happz
no, im not going to be a sheep and walk around on all fours with the rest of the flock
yes, i am going to make myself useful someday
no, i will never be slienced

yes, emma knonws all.