a real best friend.

i know that we are going to be 89 and still sat together, bitching about the people who fucked up the world and handed it to our generation to sort out, we will be sat, balding, mouthing the words perfectly to your iPod. we are going to be the really cool oap's that rave at the back of the bus, making everyone else on it kind of uncomfortable.
but ontop of everything we are going to be the ones who can be at least a bit happy, knowing that there is always going to be someone who is a constant in our life looking out for us and always being there to support eachother and pick eachother up when no one else is there.

break free....

london tomorrow,
you have got to love going to london, its that kind of rush that you get. the promise of surprise or something new. i love it. and it makes me realise how much i want need to get out of here. i love living here with all my friends and my school nearby and all but i have to know that im going to have something more. living in a city like london is exactly how i see myself in the future. its weird how i have no idea what im going to do, but i know where i want to live. i know i want to be spending too much money on a small but cosy apartment looking out over other buildings and roads with those red double deckers going by. i might not have enough money to pay for lunch but i know i would be completely and perfectly happy living with that bit of interest in my life. its that kind of promise of getting out to somewhere like london that almost drives me, so that when im spending my day doing nothing but prep work for an art exam, it doesn't matter because 4 or 5 years time, i will be earning my own money, living in my own apartment in an interesting city doing what i love and living life the way i want to. i want a small balcony that at night i can put loads of blankets out and curl up and write or read or sketch under stars, the page lit up by the moon. it might sound silly or cheesy but that i pretty much what im aiming for.

i sit here, wide eyes...

its out there. its real. untouched by us and completly and naturaly beautiful.

i want doesnt get

look at her, running after something that fate wouldn't let her have, wasting her time, loosing herself in this 'silly obsession with love'.

my subconscious, the bitch

im not saying i have a split personality, however i make no promises in the years to come.
its so messed up how a dream can set my mood for the entire day, it can decide how i react to situations and people and dictate my decisions. i can spend hours obsessing over ridiculous musings, or i can just sit, staring into nothing taken over by an empty blankness.

sane, insane - tomato, tomarto

one cannot go insane for insanity is something you are born with but reveals itself over time.

venus, meet mars...

in madrid, there were so many statues dedecated to the goddess venus and the god mars, and i was thinking -which lets be honest is never a good thing- how did they manage to meet?
and then i came across this old greek myth:

Humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. The constant need for the other half is love.

lets face it, its a hell of a big world out there, how are we supposed to meet our 'other half''?
advertising? kissing as many frogs as possible? sheer luck? or good karma?

turns out the only adult in my family i know organized a double date with mum + dad and her with her new girlfriend. so what im trying, and failing, to say is eventually we all find some kind of way to this final destination, impossible though it may seem. so stop stressing, can't be that hard. right?